RO-1 The Rhys Organism

Each description is written by an Archivist of Grade II or above, drawn from a rotating pool, so that no Archivist describes RO-1 twice in succession.

Completed descriptions go to the Office of the Second Copy, where they are copied, and then to Sub-basement Indexing, where they are filed next to SEE FORM 7-R.

Kitchens are described in full before any gathering begins.

RO-1 has also been observed as a rotating plethora of anthropomorphic animals. Each gives its name as Rhys, and each is RO-1. No two presentations have been observed in the same place at once. A presentation not previously on record is admitted to it on Form RV-1, within eleven minutes of first observation.

Any aspect of RO-1 not currently on record is free to change. Staff have watched its height, its favourite film, and its position on ACCESS DENIED shift across a single unfiled lunch break.

The Office classifies RO-1 as a persistent colony organism of unknown origin. The Office also records its known count as one (1), maximum. Both entries are retained.

The record cannot hold a photograph of RO-1. Some are lost before they are filed. In the rest, RO-1 is not in the frame, and the scene is plausible without it.

Soup is available in the Office cafeteria at all hours, although it has never been on the menu.

RO-1 has never filed any paperwork.

RO-1 is not hostile. It appears to find the Office’s efforts ACCESS DENIED.

Conference Room B was found to contain RO-1, although Room B had been fully described that morning.

A form listed RO-1’s height as “yes.”

RO-1 was located in the Office cafeteria, eating a sandwich and reading this log.

Every description filed between 14:00 and 14:33 was written with the same pen.

Directorate of Redundant Records. Custodian of RO-1. Writes everything twice.

Office of the Second Copy. Receives the first copy and makes the second.

Sub-basement Indexing. Cross-references every description against every other.

Directorate of Adjectives & Standards. Controls the approved vocabulary for describing RO-1.

Directorate of Liaison & Snacks. The only directorate RO-1 visits voluntarily. Its budget is classified.

Directorate of Unwritten Things. Its work is not written down.

The full structure of the Office is set out in Form OC-1, supplied on request.

An undocumented Rhys is an uncontained Rhys.

A document not copied is a document not written.

RO-1 may not be described as “fine.” It has never once been fine. It has been adequately recorded.

If you are reading this and the Organism is not, file Form 0 immediately and do not turn around.